Return to Homepage

"i don't know how many times I told her to just walk away...'

"There was just weird stuff that he used to do..."

"I sent her a text message saying 'when this all goes wrong, and I think it will, don't come running to me because you've just slapped me in the face.' Now I feel so guilty I can't live with myself..."

Just a few of the extracts from a shocking programme showing how an emotional control freak at work. Catching a Killer is the extreme example of emotional abuse and narcissistic pyschopath behaviour, which I've been discussing in my three recent blogs.

part one is here

part two is here

part three is here

Now it seems the universe is getting back to me again, since I just got another story - a long one - from a lovely lady on Facebook (her story is below along with other feedback) who has now moved on successfully. A pity poor Natalie Hemming didn't.

Watch the programme again - and read more about it on this link here.

Here's the trailer.

SEE HOW HIS MIND WORKS...

An expert says - this man is small, unsociable, has no real male friends, and controls women... ossessive, jealous, puts people down including in front of friends...

If this sounds familiar, for goodness sake, get expert advice. Go to the doctor and other helplines and tell friends what you are going through. Remember that at the start they do 'love bombing' - making it hard not to hope that 'that person' will returna and you can one day 'get back what we had'. BUT it doesn't happen. The solution, many experts say, is total zero communication, for the reasons why, read through all the other blogs. Reassure yourself you are not alone, this IS happening to others, and it IS right to get out. One american survey showed around 8% of respondents are narcissistic psychopaths. They may be just emotional abusers, or they may involve violence and abnormal, unloving behaviour. Threats of violence, if not actual violence, or just threats against themselves, crying and saying life's not worth living, these are all traits of some form or other of this type of psychopathic behaviour. They also NEVER admit it - NEVER stop wanting to control - and unless medication changes them will not stop. There are many many posts online and videos on youtube to help you. Or the person you are worried about. 

Remember that with some types, secrecy is one of the key factors - worried about what people think rather than their partner's well being. Worse - the victim will often describe others who know the emotional abuser as 'they'd never believe it of him/her'. Because the front they present is utterly convincing, making others feel sorry for them whilst putting their partner down and always always bringing everything back to the mistaken belief that they are the most important thing in the world - 'how do you think this makes me feel' - 'you made me do this' - etc etc.

WHATEVER LEVEL OF ABUSE IT IS, GET OUT. 

If you're hearing stories from someone else, take them seriously. With the odd exception, they are giving you a cry for help. Expert help should be put in touch with them as soon as possible and your support and back up will be invaluable at this point and ongoing thereafter, in particular if they god forbid, try to withdraw the claims afterwards. 

Anyone who states they are unhappy and being abused in some format, is being abused in some format. If they later claim it was all their own fault, and their partner is not to blame, they have probably been got to. Most likely with a resumption of the 'love bombing' = but this is ONLY TEMPORARY and at some point the abuse will likely resume. Support, insist, interfere, record them, get proof of the abuse and BRING IT OUT INTO THE OPEN. In that way, once the abuser is exposed, often they will move on to someone else, so that they can resume their evil control of a normal person who just wants love.

This programme is tragic, especially seeing the What's App messages Natalie sent to Simon, her lover, who she spent one night with, after which Paul Hemming found out and killed her. The police woman was in tears as she read them.

The final word from the poor mother who told her daughter Natalie Hemming to go home and not be scared of her partner Paul - 'I was the last one to see her alive... if only I hadn't sent her home...'

With Home Office figures showing two women are killed by partners or former partners every week, don't become another Natalie. Get help, get out, get real.

With love

Debs

x

Remember to go to the other parts for full info and more stories from others affected by such emotional and / or physical abuse. Start here. Part one, Narcissus, has now been read close on 5500 times.

 

OTHERS STORIES, CONTINUED...

Omg it’s still  happening. Not only am I still getting lots of feedback and gratitude from readers of these blogs and posts, I have now met another two people who told me their own stories of awful abuse at the hands of former partners – one of them, Lorraine, is still hanging on to the last vestiges of hers. See below. And here's another one...

 Jan says -

"Hello Debbie, I have thought about this, and decided, the defining moment. Here goes, after being married many years, 3 lovely children, a building business , own house ,half each. We started ballroom dancing lessons , met this couple, got friendly with them, she was getting close to me, finding out about my then husband through me, I must have been so gullible and naive .

On the Boxing Day she was here with her husband , had a nice meal, played monopoly with the children etc etc, a really nice day. Next day, my then husband said he was going to see his dad on his own - which was unheard off. A few hrs later he telephoned to say, he wasn't coming back, I thought the car had broken down, then he said, he was going off with her, and had rented a cottage a mile away, and had stayed for Christmas for the children. !! I didn't know anything about it. I was devastated . What a shock for me and the children.

3 mths went past, in a haze, no income, 3 teenagers to support, I couldn't get a job, no cv or computer knowledge, I had been his business secretary and helping on site. Got a few hrs work in supermarket bring home £30 week, where I am still there, using a few savings.

Then lo and behold he came back declaring he was so sorry, and didn't know what he was thinking, could we start again, he missed his family ! Things began to settle, he then went off another eight times! to her.

So I changed the locks, the police said it was unlawful . One day while I was out, he made a hole in the roof, climbed in (a bungalow) put a window in, and lived in the loft space for a while as a lodger.

That's where the violence started, he was still seeing her, but had the benefit of seeing the children.

 I couldn't take it anymore, was having panic attacks.

He then got emotionally abusive - he said I was the problem, if I wasn't there he could get on with his life! It is called the Yo Yo syndrome - he wanted the best of both worlds, cake and eat it.

The doctor said he was having a mid-life crisis or breakdown and that I was the one who should be supportive!

He started getting very frustrated, spitting at me, continued emotional abuse.

Then the physical abuse began. One day anything that wasn't fixed to the floor, he threw at me, including plants, plates, ornaments, shoes etc. I was covered in bruises, he had threatened me with a mallet on my head, I said do it quick, stared him out, knocked me to the floor broke my fingers, then one night I was asleep , and started coughing, he was trying to strangle me, by waking up I saved my life, I had marks around my neck for 2 weeks. The doctor took notes, and advised him to move out, eventually he did - back to her.

That's when my friend found out. I went swimming, and she saw bruises, then locked me up until I told her. I then had a burst stomach ulcer and ended up in hospital.

Time went on he came back and wanted to settle saying he was sorry , he then made some suggestions about money children etc. I was so low I felt I had no choice. He suggested after a while, he couldn't give her up, but wanted us both, so could he spend a week with her and a week with me, or could she live in the loft room !! I couldn't accept that, not being second best, my head was all over the place, and I think that was the defining moment when I finally had my ‘aha’.

Then came the narcissistic psychopath behaviour of trying to turn it all on me. He told family and friends I was a nutcase, and was having me put in a mental hospital, he had spoken to my doctor about it, and he sadly convinced all the people to run away from me. I went to the doctors, told him, I said what is the matter with me. He just looked at me, said you might be stressed, but you are fine, and trying to cope and he could never discuss my medical problems without my permission, my ex told lies to everyone. The police said to go into a woman's refuge, I couldn't I had the children. The next challenge was sorting everything out, and money. Many court cases later, he sent me a bill for £10,000 for use of car, used for school runs, clubs etc. But I persevered, through horrendous stress, and I won my case, solicitors fees. But it was the principal. It took 3 yrs, he said he had no money, but he did - I did the company books. Magically, half disappeared to his brothers, and others, as he was self-employed it was hard to prove on paper, he said he was too sick to work ! (After court case I caught him working on a roof). There is much more that went on.

I eventually got the house-  no maintenance I couldn't prove his earnings, but the house was half mine anyway and only worth (£90,000) He had already bought another house, and been abroad many times. So much for having no money. Then we came to the child support agency.  They awarded me £2.20 a week for 3 teenagers , said he couldn't work , he claimed he was sick. But if the children lived with him, he would provide what ever they needed?? Eventually the 2 boys went to him, as I didn't have enough income. I called it blackmail. I pursued the CSA for a few years, got MP involved but eventually MP said you won't win your case, I stormed out. Then I went to the court, and I was awarded some back money, my ex still refused to pay, only £5.00 a week for 20yrs.

Just as an add on I forgot to mention. Another occasion he tried to abduct my son on the way home from school, people reported it to the police, 5 squad cars appeared, and a helicopter ! Got my son back. It was a truly horrible time but I am now moved on."

 

Listen to these and maybe you will have your own aha moment – or share with someone you know. Should Lorraine leave this man? Read her story and make up your mind.

 

Lorraine’s Story – should she leave him? What do you think?

This lady is an outwardly confident professional, with kids, who has survived a divorce and eight years with a guy for whom she left her husband, having been very unhappily married. What she describes is archetypal love-bombing, followed by reversal and withdrawal, then a long litany of emotional abusive behaviour and control. Listen to her story –

‘I met him when my marriage was on the rocks, and I was so desperate for love and attention. He waltzed into my life and was like a whirlwind of love and attention – he seemed devoted and before very long was introducing me to his parents, our kids to each other, and promising me a life I’d always wanted with a lovely house and a life full of being texted every day, usually several times a day, with lovely messages of affection. About a year to eighteen months later, everything changed. After I’d committed to him and taken a loan out to ‘make our lives easier’, and heard so many promises from him about our future together, and the house he would sell in order to buy one for all of us, he began not contacting me and not coming over every night as he had been doing. I asked ‘why haven’t I heard from you today, is anything wrong?’ and he acted as though I was crazy, asking why he had to contact me every day. It made me feel small and stupid but I accepted it. Looking back I should have held my ground, but after having been treated like a princess, I just thought it was a blip and held on to that dream. Shortly after he got me working at his company and I got told he wanted me not to go out on the road any more, but instead he wanted me on the desk next to him so he could see me every day. I felt flattered. Really I should have questioned why, but I stuck with it. He began insisting I didn’t go out with my friends and family and stayed home. He also began telling me I couldn’t achieve certain things I’d always had confidence about – undermining me and taking the mick. Over time, this insidiously seeped into my own psyche and I began to become a shadow of my former self, all the while holding on to the idea that he would one day get back to ‘how we once were.’ The big move never happened, and even my kids pointed out that he’s never around like I thought and why on earth would I want to be with him. I said I loved him and he’s not like that really – making excuses, but really I was just using his love bombing and the original idea of him as a reference point rather than his true self. Ironically I have been holding on to it for eight years. Then he sold his business, and after two years, the new owners ended his contract so I was no longer seeing him every day. I was relieved. We are now in contact only every couple of weeks – he occasionally texts me and says shall we go to dinner. I don’t know why, but I still accept. When I come back, I feel upset and disturbed, but don’t feel like going out any more and prefer my own company and staying indoors. What should I do?'

What should Lorraine do? Let me know with a comment below.

 

Angie’s Story –

Angie got married in the early 1960s when she was 21 and her hubby to be was a college lecturer 11 years her senior. Hers is a typical narcissistic abuse story – with added violence. It makes harrowing reading, but she is now in a great relationship with a caring man, having had a second marriage in between that lasted 25 years. Her first one lasted 5 years before she was able to get away, at the 4th time of trying, with help from family and friends.

‘I found out he was an abuser a week after we got married, but I should have known before that. He insisted that only 5 people came to our wedding, did not want photos taken apart from by one person (and later burned all the negatives in a temper when I had been doing the Twist with someone at a party and he erupted in anger and told me I had been ‘masturbating in front of everyone and embarrassing him’) Plus he made me take off my ring as he did not want his college students to know he was married. Turns out I found out why later - that he received massive adulation amongst his colleagues and students and did not want that to end if they knew he was married. For years he made my life a living hell. The worst memory was for example when one night a week he went away from home to work somewhere else and I looked forward to this night all week, when I could come home when I wanted instead of when he told me to. I went for a drink with friends after work and got home late. I spent an hour in the kitchen then went to the loo, down a long dark corridor where a light switch was at the end of the corridor. I reached out to turn on the switch and instead my hand found a face – his face, he’d been waiting there for me all that time, just to terrify me. I never got home late again even when he was away. Thankfully we never had any kids, even tho our sex life was the only thing that kept us going. He was totally bullying in his behaviour towards me on every level, making me have my hair a certain way – long and dark, and using it one time to drag me the full length of the staircase by it, because he was unhappy with my outfit. I was too terrified of what he might do, and by then, too worn down to break free on my own. Finally I did so when a new man told me he would help me and see me through the split, along with my friend. My parents, who had believed how wonderful he was for so long and encouraged our marriage because they were old fashioned and knew we were having sex so wanted him to at least marry me, also helped me break free. However, one of his students, who had been my friend, found out we were splitting up and heard why and could not believe it. She wrote me the most awful letter saying I was a terrible person to say this about such a lovely man and I should be ashamed of myself. Four years later, she had married an abuser herself, moved to France and had her ribs broken by him, and wrote to me saying I take everything back, I now realise how it is possible to go through hell in private, with someone who is the model of charm in public. I’m now very happily married with my third husband and wanting to help as many people as possible know that it is NOT acceptable to be belittled, nor to have someone make you think you must have dreamed up their promises or their abuse, and also specifically to alert people to watch out for those who love-bomb them right at the start – if their attitude changes, it’s very likely what they’ve changed to is their true self and they only did the overload of love at the start in order to hook you in and make you vulnerable."  

 

 

Published in Back to You

this is part three - find part one here and part two here.

It's a tough topic but the message keeps coming through about how these bullies have a personality disorder  - and with all the reading comes a real enlightenment about this thing called a narcissistic psychopath. I have loved finding out more and doing research, because I'm a geek like that. But I also am very very pleased that it is helping people. I have lost count of the number of people who have private messaged me and just said thank you for sharing information like this as it has made them feel not so alone. Obviously there is a very big community online for a very wide range of videos you can also watch on youtube. You need never feel alone again.

But this topic of the mind is so important - this week Anthony Robbins was back in London doing his unleash the power within seminars, something I went to 17 years ago and it helped to radically change my viewpoint. Everything is based around what you think about it, you only get treated how you love yourself to be treated, you are only affected by things that you allow to affect you. And generally speaking if you have a positive outlook, people get positive results, and I don't mean in a namby-pamby way, I mean in a very down-to-earth practical make it happen type way. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and the things that happened to me in the last six months have led to a much better place. Read more about it below.

This week one of my brothers who is training to be a counsellor, sent me another link - it's possibly the best explanation of this personality disorder I have read so far. So do read it if you're not sure whether you're in a relationship with one or not - you just know you feel put down all the time and like you're coming second to someone else's needs - even if they love-bombed you at the start and made you think that was their true self.

go here to read it - Dealing with a Narcissist - the only method guaranteed to work

 

Upon Reflection... 

On another note, I saw 'Their Finest' this week and it made me go into reflective mood. If you go watch this amazing film set in WW2 about the Ministry of Defence using home made films to helpl the war effort, starring Gemma Arterton (stellar) and Bill Nighy (outstanding) and the breathtaking Sam Claflin (phwoar) (also in Me After You). Reflective because along with all these blogs I'm writing about relationships, it made me reconsider my own history, but this time with a more pragmatic approach.

I have to say I too have been a glutton for punishment, staying with a bully or a narcissist, even though they were lesser versions, they were still bullies and narcissists. See below. Almost always, looking back to that first unusual period of our relationship where he was really nice to me, thinking we could go back to then as that's who he really was. Nah. They call it 'love bombing...'

LOVEBOMBING - BEWARE THAT 'HE/SHE'S THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME' FEELING if it then changes permanently to something awful...

So they give off a different representation of themselves at the start. And that's why, if I ever look back and get all nostalgic and wish 'things were how they used to be' and 'we can get back what we had at the beginning' it helps to remember that the beginning was a false start, and that the person you dealt with at the end was actually the real him.

Sometimes that tactic works and they woo you and get their feet under the table and only then, when they've 'got you' does their true self starts to emerge - one who resents their partner's independent thinking and social life and gets angry any time they don't agree. I have had several experiences of this variation on a theme, one of them with ar guy who had a great job (on paper at least) but having been a spoilt only child with a big chip on his shoulder, he gradually revealed himself as a grade A Feck-wit.... and a long enduring relationship with a man who put himself first and believed his own rhetoric but kept me tied up in his fantasies for years... and another who was a bit of a waster but I believed the best in him... see my story below.

Meanwhile if you are reading this and you haven't yet read the originals - go here to - 

part one - narcissus -  emotional bullies  -introduction and some scary tales of abuse from my facebookers and newsletter gang. go here.

part two - getting the help you need or taking the first step and more tales from you guys

part three - why they will never change - it's in the brain and difficult to unlearn - ever. hard hitting truths about the narcissist. This blog.

 Other articles are online, are listed on parts one and two, and include this one - to help you understand if you have been subject to manipulation by a narcissistic personality at some level

Keep in touch with me, email me your story - especially if you too had your 'aha' moment, and broke free - it really can be done in most circumstances, especially with a pure narcissist. This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. Any story is a valuable story, even if you want to tell just me, just say, as getting it out can be very therapeutic, just as the below was for me. 

best wishes

debs

x

MY STORY -

Wanting to believe the dream and seeing the best in others.

It's again a fact of life that my family and loved ones know something ironic about me - they tell me I always see the best in people. And often when they say it, they are not being complimentary. They are explaining away the reason why, yet again, I've given someone the benefit of the doubt, and made excuses for their ongoing 'wrong' behaviour, ignoring all the outside signs that are so clear to others. So no wonder I'm sometimes left with yet another 'what was I thinking' phase tucked firmly into my past. Men eh, huh.

Looking back it really does seem clear, now, but then hindsight is a wonderful thing, especially knowing what I now know about all this stuff!

'Nat'

One was a bit broken, and declared he could not leave his job which he hated, because he was just stuck. I obviously - at the time - thought that things might change and I could help change them. Yes I was a fixer. But no more. Looking back, it's easy to see how this person was not presenting a true image of himself to me, especially at the start. Being more attentive, being more focussed on me rather than themselves. Being more able to accept certain things about my life and activities that later they began to put down or criticize. And being very careful to keep from me habits they knew would not sit well with a long term relationship with me. He wasn't necessarily a NP (narcissistic psychopath) but he was definitely not appropriate for me as a partner. I'm being kind, here.

'Roy'

Roy WAS one, however. With a vengeance. He was confident, gave off a complete whitewash of devotion at the start and gradually began to object to my friends and even my family. He insidiously sapped away my confidence until a year later, coupled with an awful time elsewhere in my life, he was part of the reason why I went on anti-depressants for the only time in my life. He did nasty things and was generally vile to me, yet bit by bit I accepted each stage - for a multitude of reasons but mainly because once we got back to the nice bit, he promised it would all be ok thereafter. Which of course it never was. Circumstances kept me going back to him, more of what happened is here on a previous blog and also in my 2017 till the Fat Lady Slims book, which relates how it affected my weight. 

I should have known better really when one night quite early on, he kicked me viciously when i slid into bed with him after arriving late and he was already asleep, and i put my cold feet on his leg. Nasty - should have got out right then and there shouldn't I? Or when I got treated like second class when he took down my new home card when his ex wife arrived to see his new place, but kept hers up when I arrived. Or worst of all, when we went for a meal at a local restaurant, and he raised his voice during a row and silenced the restaurant - over something stoopid I can't even recall. I walked all the way home crying, but still did not kick him out when he got back afterwards, saying sorry. Jesus. If that was my child I was listening to, I would go kill the bastard, wouldn't you? Anyone with a story along these lines, DO NOT PUT UP WITH IT especially if it's early on, or not too late to escape - like, you don't own property, you aren't married, you don't have kids together or work together and if you split up you could easily not haave to see them again around the town. GET OUT and practice ZERO contact (see last week's blog).

 

Ant

Even my first husband was a bit of a Narc. He was totally a love bomber at the start, but also continued it throughout especially following transgressions (which in the days before mobiles was hard to prove otherwise, but I later found out he WAS actually playing away - with countless women during our 14 years together it eventually turned out.) He also found it hard to remain proud of me when my career really took off and got resentful , he admitted, when he had to play second fiddle, assuming I was always off having affairs. Where really HE was the one being a serial philanderer, but in judging me by his own standards, he turned the spotlight on me. He also began putting our children down, in an insidious way, small but constant sniping and undermining their image of themselves - he had probably had the same thing from his own dad , to be fair, but still no excuse. When we split up, and I could do all the care-giving alone for our two lovely kids, they instead got told they did indeed know what was best for themselves, that they could achieve anything they wanted to if they wanted it enough, and never put them down in that nasty sly way, just to make himself feel better about his own life. I'll never forget when he didn't turn up for my son's rugby match one Sunday, having said he would, which made my son think he finally mattered to his dad, leaving my poor son in tears cos his dad didn't show. That was my son's 'aha' moment I think, and he's been forever at peace with the sometime uncle he calls dad. He's an arsehole, said a friend of mine way back then - a loveable arsehole, but an arsehole nonetheless, she said. And I think that sums most of them up, don't you? Now he's there for them occasionally on the phone, never supported them financially, that's been only down to me - no holidays or clothes or pressies to speak of, and on the end of a phone from time to time, but not really ever in a strongly supportive way, you know? But they are the strong, secure people they are in spite of him, not because of him, and that's fine. Everything happens for a reason, so my being alone in my fifties instead of nursing a thirty year strong relationship with what I believed for so long was a good man, is the price I'm willing to pay for having freed my two kids of the chains that bound them to playing second fiddle to a part time narcissist. Maybe I'll choose better next time...

 

Douglas

Another recent experience at least proved to myself that I am now capable of not giving in over and over again. That old adage of 'fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me' was very true when I became involved in the tangled web spun by Douglas - who had very blue eyes and was a hunky but small guy, a couple of years ago now. Douglas had me at hello, such a connection, both physical and almost tangible, which was confirmed by a text he sent me admitting he was attracted to me, after which we began a tentative journey towards a relationship, despite the fact that he was trying to get out of his current one. Thing was, his partner was clearly a narcissistic psychopath. Anyone who knew her well, and there were many people who later came out of the woodwork, had many tales to tell. So I believed his spin on his life. She had treated her animals better than him, gave him no attention, little sex, was jealous of everything he did and everyone he mixed with and he needed to get out. Then he tried to twice, dumping her, only to be reeled back in afterwards. The second time, the 'fool me twice' kicked in, and I told him that, even though NOTHING physical had significantly happened between us (nor would it, it turned out) I could not play along with his journey, and there could be no 'us' all the while he was not single, not even talking about there being an us.

I was glad to have made that decision.

He tried to dump her again, then a third time after which she sought treatment which apparently made his job far more difficult and made her tolerable. My experiences above had made me alerted to putting myself into a situation whereby I was being treated second best, and told him that - reminding him every so often when it started to feel like we were getting closer again, as we continued to work together and he continued to regale me with a commentary on his situation. It was hard, since I truly believed in this guy and the way he portrayed his situation - turns out it was archetypal narcissist / co-dependant behaviour - as over and over again he told me how bad it was, including in texts (which I kept to prove to myself how it had turned bad, should my poor lovelorn mind put on its rose tinted spectacles of memory and get all nostalgic for 'how it used to be' or for 'what could have been.')

Still looking back, I fear his true situation is an awful one and his life will continue to be bad once things revert to their original patterns.

But eventually, when 'we' crashed and burned, he sent me a long text claiming that the reality was far removed from him being that person he'd portrayed to me - which was difficult to believe given the certainty I'd experienced with my own eyes from someone sitting in front of me, crushed, sad and obviously lonely. He'd said he was a shadow of his former confident self, had 'lost his sense of self' etc - which was why it all resonated when I started reading up on Narcissistic patterns. He even said he'd cried one time when thinking about having a new life and going to a family wedding with me later in the year... a grown man, crying. So sad. I felt for him as he'd described to me having no reciprocated sex life to speak of,  of being questioned about everything and everyone he was with every day. And of being ostracised from his friends and potential other jobs, due to the aggro it created at home. By now I'd told him we could not 'be'. But still he kept coming back to work with me, and still he and I felt that connection. So I knew it had to be forced to end, so I guess having written all about my thoughts in a blog, which he did not like, the outcome in the long term turned out to be a satisfactory one. Cut a long story short, he ended up showing me his true colours, his other side, none of which I'd seen, when he appeared one day in bully mode and I saw the light. If he was partly a NP himself, or on substances which helped to explain it all, who knows - I wouldn't have said so, but I was past caring by then. However upset I got, I still decided it was best if we did not work together again, so that was it. Except it wasn't, since no NP likes to be wrong-footed. But nevertheless I rode it through and got out relatively unscathed.

People know the truth - ones who matter do anyway - and I can hold my own head up high as my own behaviour was something to be proud of, given what he'd said and done to me, and how he'd behaved to her, the person who by the end he was holding up as the love of his life. He then sent that long text, claiming all he'd said about her was his own fault.

OR... could it possibly have been that final text was written BY her, or for her - which amounts to the same thing - from one who was trapped by a NP, hook line and sinker. I care not either way. By the end, it was easy to look back and despite being worried for him, and caring about his well being and having tried my best to listen and be a good friend, he turned on me just as soon as he realised I did not give a monkeys any more and was not under his own spell any more either.  

After all, I see the best in people don't I? 

 

Should I stop?

Should I stop? Should I assume that the next man is also someone to be wary of? Or should I go on in my eternal belief that people are good and true and to be given the benefit of the doubt until proved otherwise? That one day there WILL be a man who will be my equal, genuinely, not one pretending to be. That one day there will be a partner who I can truly rely on? A psychic said (and therefore it MUST be true (!)) that there will be a new man - one with whom things will be 'easy' and not full of baggage and conflict and difficulty. One who will be strong and supportive and be able to be the win d beneath MY wings rather than me eternally being his. Or trying to. Well whatever, one thing's for sure. I will be wary of 'love-bombing' and things being too good to be true. In the end, I'm not. What I offer is not - at least, for the right person. But sadly I won't trust quite to easily next time. 

Hoping there'll be a next time...

Debs

x

 

 

Published in Back to You